


Do Him Courtesies

by DaughterofProspero



Category: Midsummer Night's Dream - Shakespeare, SHAKESPEARE William - Works
Genre: Conversations, Fae & Fairies, Humor, POV Third Person, Servants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5890435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterofProspero/pseuds/DaughterofProspero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'll give thee fairies to attend on thee,<br/>And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep,<br/>And sing while thou on pressed flowers dost sleep;<br/>And I will purge thy mortal grossness so<br/>That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.<br/>Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth! and Mustardseed!"</p>
<p>While Titania and Bottom sleep, the four fairy attendants discuss the pros and cons of their ridiculous situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Him Courtesies

“So he’s a little eccentric, fine; he’s only human!” Mustardseed shrugs off the growing concerns of the other three fairies, an on-call quartet to their Queen’s newest lover. It was all they could do to keep straight faces as they bowed to the strange mortal.

“But he’s so loud,” Moans Peasblossom. “It’s bad enough when he talks – but his singing? If I have to listen to one more note, I might hex his tongue into a knot!”

“Her Majesty would have you squashed,” Says Mustardseed flatly.

“At least it’d be quiet…” Peasblossom mutters, pink wings fluttering huffily. Cobweb edges a little ways away from the disruptive appendages, offering only “Maybe she’ll leave him by morning?”

“Unlikely,” scoffs Mustardseed “did you see the way they’re sleeping? She’s got him in a vice – no way she’s letting go of him until at least midday. He’s harmless—“ Peablossom moves to interrupt but Mustardseed perseveres. “Loud, yes, but harmless.”

“If she makes us bathe him…” Peasblossom’s face crinkles in disgust.

“You think it’s possible?” Cobweb asks

“What, to actually bathe him, or that she’d ask us?”

“Both, I guess…”

“I don’t know…she might want to do it…” Mustardseed says, sporting an expression similar to Peasblossom’s. “Not nice to think about, but at least we wouldn’t have to.”

“Well, we’ve never had to before…” Cobweb this time

“True, true.”

“Though I’ve never seen her so obsessed with a commoner before…”

“SO ARE WE ALL JUST IGNORING THE DONKEY HEAD!?” Moth — brooding in silence up until this point — erupts. The other fae turn to their exasperated comrade. Arms extended in a gesture of disbelief, Moth looks from fairy to fairy, searching for an explanation.

“Well…” Cobweb begins to craft a response but is cut off.

“Our Queen. Has fallen. For a donkey man.”

“But…”

“A _donkey man_.”

An awkward silence settles over the group, considering the reality of their predicament. Moth still waits expectantly for confirmation of the grossly apparent absurdity.

“Okay, yes.” Concedes Mustardseed. “It’s…it’s a little out of character.”

“You think?”

“It’s weird, we all know it’s weird.” Peasblossom admits

“Definitely.” Adds Cobweb.

“But what are we gonna do? We’re here to do what she needs, not ask questions.”

“I don’t know what we’d do, per se, I just…wanted to make sure we were all on the same page.” Moth simmers down a little, sated by the consensus.

“Who says we have to do anything, like I said before, he’s harmless.” Again, Mustardseed refuses to worry, confident in an eventual resolution.

“You think you can live with that?” Peasblossom challenges. “For the next couple centuries? All that braying, and prattling…”

“And singing…”

“And singing? How much of that can you take?”

Mustardseed considers the counterargument.

“I don’t think His Majesty will be too happy about it either…” says Cobweb, with mounting horror. A collective shudder runs through the group at the thought of the fallout to such a quarrel. It’s no secret the King and Queen have their affairs, but a human/animal hybrid? That’s an insult, plain and simple…there would be chaos.

“So…what do we do?” Peasblossom queries.

“I say wait it out. We’re still not sure what’s really going on…” Mustardseed’s regains a relaxed composure only to be overruled by another of Moth’s outbursts.

“What’s going on is she is sleeping with a donkey-man – what about that does not imply immediate action should be taken?!”

“Well if you’re so insistent, what action should that be?” Peasblossom comes to Mustardseed’s defense. Moth hesitates.

“I…”

“You don’t know – none of us do. So what choice do we have but to wait it out?”

“I’m sure this’ll all blow over soon.”

“Might as well sit tight for now.”

Outnumbered, Moth sighs wearily, his common sense reluctantly getting the better of his frustration. They all sit a moment longer, contemplating their circular conversation until a silvery voice rings out across the forest, beckoning her servants once again. Instantly, three of the four fly off in the direction of their Queen with supernatural speed, steeling themselves for their upcoming tasks.

“A fucking donkey-man…” Moth grumbles, and zooms off after the others.

**Author's Note:**

> So, Moth speaks the least out of all the fairies. And there was this great moment in one rehearsal where he just stood in a corner with the most intense judgement at Bottom getting his head scratched and it was fucking hilarious. So I thought...what if he just explodes afterwards like "IS NO ONE ELSE SEEING THIS SHIT?!"  
> I dunno, made me laugh. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
